It Took Me Seven Years to Launch My Business.
Here’s how I finally got out of my own way.
It was late 2013, and I was sitting in a personal development retreat in balmy Florida, trying to figure out how to “design my life” in multiple areas. I had just left a relationship that wasn’t a good fit, and despite being promoted to a director-level marketing position at a software company, I was in a job I felt stuck in.
I remember writing down the words “life coach” as a potential career option I could explore that would give me the feeling of connection that I was longing for. I wanted to do something to help people and give more meaning to my life.
After coming home, I felt a spark for a few weeks, but eventually, the routine of regular life took over, and I closed that notebook for a while.
It wasn’t until seven years later that I started thinking about it again and considering whether it was a real option. I had gone through some major transformations of my own in the areas of my health and my relationships (I met my soulmate and got married! Woohoo!), and I felt inspired to help others change their lives for the better.
It’s now, or never
That’s when I finally asked myself whether I could continue pushing off this dream forever or if it was time to start working towards it. Because if I didn’t start working towards it now, when would I?
Ten years from now, when I wouldn’t have the motivation or drive left to actually do it?
Over the next year, I studied hard to become a certified life coach. I then completed more training and just as I finished, the world was hit with a global pandemic. Many people were reevaluating their lives, careers, passions, everything. It was a fantastic training ground for a budding life coach, and I helped a lot of people figure out their next steps.
Later that year, I pivoted to helping aspiring business owners launch their businesses because I already had fifteen years of experience in corporate marketing and I wanted to teach them how to market themselves and help them clarify their marketing.
Since then, I’ve privately coached over twenty-five women, launched a blog and podcast, and created two signature programs. I’ve also realized that all the excuses I once held for why I couldn’t start a business were baseless.
Here are a few lessons I’ve learned about moving your dreams out of your head and into reality and what helped me get out of my own way:
1. Decide that your dream (and you) are worth the effort
As you read in my intro, you really have to want this, and you have to know that your dream is a priority in your life, even if it’s hard to pursue.
Take the time to think about WHY you want this. Is it to provide more fulfillment, flexibility, freedom, and financial stability, or is it something else? If you understand your deeper motivation, it will make every step to follow that much easier.
2. Get really clear on what you want to build and then take steps to go after it
You can’t build a solid building without making a plan. (I would know, there are three architects in my family!)
The same goes for your business. And I still see so many people trying to wing it without getting clear on their vision first.
- What kind of business are you trying to create?
- Who do you want to work with?
- What will your offer be?
If you don’t iron this out, reaching your goals will be much harder. You don’t have to have everything set in stone, but you do have to have a general idea of what you’re trying to build.
3. Embrace the fear (and do it anyway)
Starting a business isn’t an easy feat. And you likely don’t have any experience doing it, so you will inevitably fail at some things. Just like anything you’re learning to do for the first time.
But the faster you learn to embrace your fear, do it anyway, and pick yourself up after you fall, the quicker you’ll reach your goals.
When you feel fear in your business, it’s because you’re afraid of something: failure, the judgment of others, etc.
And a lot of times, the fear isn’t real. Well, it’s real in the sense that you can feel it physiologically, but it’s not in the sense that you’re actually in any immediate danger.
You may feel that your nervous system is activated (ex., sweaty palms, racing heart, sick to your stomach), but what it’s doing is reacting to something in your environment or to a thought you’re having at the moment and trying to protect you.
The irony is that you’re most likely 100% safe, so it’s more that you have to learn how to embrace the fear instead of pushing it away. That will release its hold on you.
4. Care less what people think of you
The truth is that people will always judge you — for the car you drive, the profession you choose, the clothes you wear, the shape of your body, etc. Don’t let their judgment spill over to your dreams.
If your dream is to own a business and help people, keep that in your mind and ignore the naysayers. They aren’t bold enough to forge their own path, so don’t let their judgment stop you from following yours.
And even if they are entrepreneurs, if they criticize you, there’s usually something else going on. Maybe they feel jealous or threatened; perhaps they’re just having a shitty day and taking it out on you.
And to those of you who worry about what your friends and family will think:
This is a somewhat valid concern because you should care about what your loved ones think. But you have to realize that when you start a business, you’re challenging your old identity.
People who have known you for decades may get confused because they only know you as the “old” you. Your friends and family may not understand because they still see that other version of you while you’re reinventing yourself as something else, which may break their brain a bit. Don’t worry. Your real supporters will come around eventually.
Finally, understand that when you start challenging your old identity, it will challenge you back because you’re rewriting your old stories and how you show up in the world. That’s why coaches have jobs: We help you move toward your goals when everything inside your head is telling you it’s too hard and it would be easier to go back to your old patterns and safe ways of being.
5. Just take the first step
When you’re overwhelmed, you’re looking at the end result and thinking about all the little things you need to do to get there.
But how do you climb a mountain? By taking the first step, and then taking another one until you reach the top. You can’t take all of those steps all at once.
So, don’t try to do the same with your business. Focus on what you can do today to move forward instead of being stuck in some version of the future. Eventually, all those steps will add up to what you’re dreaming of now.
6. Any decision is better than no decision
Instead of sitting in indecision, decide to pick one thing and move forward with it. Even if you think it’s not the “right” thing to do. Starting somewhere is better than debating all the possible options in your head over and over.
You can only make decisions based on the information available to you in the moment. So make the best decision you can, and know that if you just keep going, it will all work out in the end.
7. Learn to love marketing (or at least accept it)
I hear from the women I coach that not understanding how to market themselves is one of their biggest obstacles to launch their business and also find clients.
You may think of marketing as a means to an end or a necessary evil, but it’s also how you communicate to your potential clients. Even a seasoned marketer like myself gets tired of creating content once in a while.
But when I do, I remind myself that this is how my clients find me and learn more about what I do. So I have to keep doing it.
If you want more effective marketing, it’s best to align it to your personality and strengths because then you’ll naturally be better at it and want to keep doing it.
Want help with this? Take my two-minute quiz to get three custom marketing strategies just for you!
8. Question your old beliefs
As I mentioned earlier, I had many limiting beliefs when I started my business. In order to even start pursuing my dream, I had to learn how to release them and create new beliefs for myself.
For example, I thought it wouldn’t work because I didn’t have enough time to devote to it. With a full-time job in marketing, when would I work on my business? Well, the answer was in my free time. Duh! But it wasn’t so obvious back then.
Or I thought I was too old to start over in a new career. This is complete nonsense. I was in my late thirties when I started my business, which is pretty young compared to the stats for most people starting a business.
So, examine your beliefs about why you can’t pursue your dream. If you look underneath them, you’ll see that they’re usually just excuses you make up to prevent you from failing or to keep you safe.
When you catch yourself in one of these beliefs, see if you can find evidence for the opposite truth.
For example, if you think you don’t have enough time to be an entrepreneur, really take a hard look at your schedule. How much time are you spending scrolling your phone or watching Netflix each week?
Can you use that time more wisely? What you’re actually doing is making a choice to use that time to enjoy your present moment or zone out instead of moving towards your goals. I’m not judging, but that is what you’re doing.
To be a successful entrepreneur, you have to accept that you will need to transform your old self. And the faster you embrace change, the more success you’ll have.
9. Get support (and earlier than you think you need it)
Big ideas — like starting a business — require big support. Contrary to popular belief, just because you’re a solopreneur doesn’t mean you should build this thing on your own.
I coach new entrepreneurs in the early stages of launching their businesses, and for every client of mine, I see ten others struggling on their own. I’m not saying my clients don’t have challenges, but when they do, they bring them to our sessions, and we work through them, so they’re no longer on their own.
If they have a big decision to make, I help empower them to trust themselves and their gut instinct. I help them brainstorm solutions and choose the path that feels best to them. I help break down the old beliefs that are standing in their way so they can move forward. I teach them about marketing so they can confidently promote themselves.
If I could have one wish for solopreneurs, it would be that everyone had the opportunity to work with a coach one-on-one. I’ve seen a lot of dreams not come true just because someone was unwilling or unable to get the support they needed to bring their dream into reality. And I don’t want it to be that way.
If you want my help starting your business, check out my 1:1 coaching program for aspiring entrepreneurs designed to help you get the clarity you need to launch your business and the confidence to start attracting clients.
